We often talk about love in loud voices. We talk about the passion of meeting and the tragedy of breaking apart. But very few poets talk about the quiet dignity of letting go.
Parveen Shakir was a master of this silence. In this ghazal, she doesn't fight her fate. She accepts it with a grace that is almost painful to watch. She writes about the strength it takes to not just lose someone, but to help them move on with your own hands. This is not weakness; this is Kamal-e-Zabt—the absolute perfection of self-control.
Here is the complete ghazal, written as if torn from her diary.
کمالِ ضبط کو خود بھی تو آزماؤں گی
میں اپنے ہاتھ سے اُس کی دلہن سجاؤں گی
I will test the perfection of my own self-control;
I will adorn his bride with my own hands.
سپرد کر کے اُسے چاندنی کے ہاتھوں میں
میں اپنے گھر کے اندھیروں کو لوٹ آؤں گی
Entrusting him to the hands of moonlight;
I will return to the darkness of my own home.
بدن کے کرب کو وہ بھی سمجھ نہ پائے گا
میں دل میں روؤں گی آنکھوں میں مسکراؤں گی
Even he will not understand the anguish of my body;
I will weep in my heart, but smile with my eyes.
وہ کیا گیا کہ رفاقت کے سارے لطف گئے
میں کس سے روٹھ سکوں گی، کسے مناؤں گی
With his departure, all the joys of companionship are gone;
Who will I sulk with now? Who will I make amends with?
اب اُس کا فن تو کسی اور سے ہوا منسوب
میں کس کی نظم اکیلے میں گنگناؤں گی
Now his art is attributed to someone else;
Whose poem will I hum when I am alone?
وہ ایک رشتہِ بے نام بھی نہیں لیکن
میں اب بھی اُس کے اشاروں پہ سر جھکاؤں گی
There isn't even a nameless relationship between us anymore;
Yet, I will still bow my head at his signals.
بچھا دیا تھا گلابوں کے ساتھ اپنا وجود
وہ سو کے اُٹھے تو خوابوں کی راکھ اُٹھاؤں گی
I had spread my existence along with the roses;
When he wakes up, I will pick up the ashes of my dreams.
سماعتوں میں گھنے جنگلوں کی سانسیں ہیں
میں اب کبھی تیری آواز سن نہ پاؤں گی
My hearing is filled with the breathing of dense forests;
I will never be able to hear your voice again.
جواز ڈھونڈ رہا تھا نئی محبت کا
وہ کہہ رہا تھا کہ میں اُس کو بھول جاؤں گی
He was looking for a justification for his new love;
He was saying that I would eventually forget him.
Glossary / Maani (الفاظ و معنی)
Kamal-e-Zabt (کمالِ ضبط): The perfection of self-control; the highest limit of patience.
Supurd (سپرد): To entrust; to hand over something valuable to someone else.
Karb (کرب): Deep anguish; pain; agony (often of the soul).
Rifāqat (رفاقت): Companionship; friendship; the state of being partners.
Mansūb (منسوب): Associated with; attributed to; linked to someone.
Samā.atoñ (سماعتوں): The sense of hearing; ears.
Javāz (جواز): Justification; a valid reason or excuse.